"With magic, you can turn a frog into a prince. With science, you can turn a frog into a Ph.D and you still have the frog you started with."
— Terry Pratchett, Jack Cohen and Ian Stewart, The Science of Discworld (1999)
"Collecting was enormous popular among the English of this century. Bones, shells, butterflies, birds, other people’s countries…"
— Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen, The Science of Discworld III: Darwin’s Watch (via iampurplemontart)
"+++ I am sorry. It is hard to convey five-dimensional ideas in a language evolved to scream defiance at the monkeys in the next tree. +++"
— Hex, Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen, The Science of Discworld III: Darwin’s Watch
Rincewind: HEX, please can you tell me the answer to the question “why”?
HEX rattles for a bit and then goes silent.
Rincewind: Well?
Skazz: It make take some time for HEX to come up with the answer.
Rincewind: How long will this take?
(Skazz pulls out a small stone circle and uses it like a calculator)
Skazz: Lets see…I think it’ll take a few aeons.
Rincewind: Ians?
Skazz: Nope. Aeons or age of the world, probably about 2 million years. would you like a cup of something while you wait?
Rincewind: Hemshock?
Skazz: Ah, I don’t think we have any of that in stock.
"Mumblemumblemumble,” said the Dean defiantly, a rebel without a pause."
— soul music, terry pratchett (via cutegirlkissingbooth)
"Give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day, but set fire to him and he’s warm for the rest of his life."
— Terry Pratchett, Jingo (1997)
"- “Sodomy non sapiens,” said Albert under his breath.
- “What does that mean?”
- “Means I’m buggered if I know."
- “What does that mean?”
- “Means I’m buggered if I know."
— — Mort and Albert are facing a problem (Terry Pratchett, Mort)
(Source: rokkster)
"The Librarian was, of course, very much in favour of reading in general, but readers in particular got on his nerves. There was something, well, sacrilegious about the way they kept taking books off shelves and wearing out the words by reading them. He liked people who loved and respected books, and the best way to do that, in the Librarian’s opinion, was to leave them on the shelves where Nature intended them to be."
— Terry Pratchett, Men At Arms (via realhousewivesofhousefrey)
(Source: adorabelledearheart)
1. Even if you’re the biggest fuck-up in the universe, there will still be people who love you.
2. A dependable set of luggage is something one must never leave without.
3. The family business is unavoidable no matter what.
4. There is no shame in loving sex
5. You will find family in…
"That was for essential maintenance,” Mr. Slant began.
“No, it was for repairs,” snapped Vetinari. “Under the previous management the system shut down for an hour every day. That was for maintenance. Now the towers run until they break down. What do you think you are doing, gentlemen?”
“That, my lord, and with respect, is none of your business.” Lord Vetinari smiled. For the first time that morning, it was a smile of genuine pleasure. “Ah, Mr. Reacher Gilt, I was wondering when we’d hear from you. You have been so uncharacteristically silent. I read your article in the Times with great interest. You are so passionate about freedom, I gather. You used the word ‘tryanny’ three times and the word ‘tyrant’ once."
“That, my lord, and with respect, is none of your business.” Lord Vetinari smiled. For the first time that morning, it was a smile of genuine pleasure. “Ah, Mr. Reacher Gilt, I was wondering when we’d hear from you. You have been so uncharacteristically silent. I read your article in the Times with great interest. You are so passionate about freedom, I gather. You used the word ‘tryanny’ three times and the word ‘tyrant’ once."
— Terry Pratchett, Going Postal (via the-alchemist-guild)
